Feel Again 5 Years Later

Beauty is ever to the lonely mind a shadow fleeting; she is never plain. She is a visitor who leaves behind the gift of grief, the souvenir of pain.

~ Christopher Morely

Five years ago on December 12^th, 2011, I looked death straight in the eyes of the shell of my daughter and wished to take her place. 

Much has transpired, enough so that it reads as one epic best seller.

A great deal of changes has surged into my life and in the breakwaters of where I exist…I became someone who is fire amongst the waves. 

This marking of the day when my daughter’s vehicle became her icy tomb, is one I never could have imagined the outcome. 

Over time, the tears I have poured from my Warrior’s casing, would swathe the forest in a river of mourning. While much of my grieving has been on my own, I have felt the presence of angels in my life. These earthly beings come in the form of the close-knit group of friends I have. People, who despite their own lives to carry on… have taken their valued time to read and share their most personal reflections about my blogs. 

Along the rugged path of bereavement, there are those who I needed to let go of. This added to my layers of sadness; yet I cannot move forward shackled to the past. The opulence of this decision is that I know I will be reunited with them again…just in another form. The love shared in this world I believe, you take with you when you depart.

 

My decision to not write a poem, or create a heart-wrenching video dedicated to the one day that forever altered my world, is something that came naturally.

For through Shayla’s passing, the continual life- lessons I feel she imparts, has lessened my sorrowfulness. I have felt as if the passing of the torch my daughter gave me to help and serve others was ignited in an eternal flame. 

Therefore, in wanting to visually create where I have been and where God wants to lead me, I decided to take inventory of the many blessings I have.

In the video, I have included those who witnessed my brokenness and whose tears were merged with mine. There are others, who know without a doubt, are included in my daily prayers. 

I do have some special plans to remember my daughter by on Monday and I have already lit a candle for her at Christ Cathedral Church in Victoria. However, this will be a time to rejoice in the 21 years we shared, rather than mourning the one day she was taken from me. 

Video Created by TL Alton  Music and Lyrics by Katy Perry   
Please Click on link>>> 
https://youtu.be/GtqhUPNkd08

By TL Alton